Effects Essay

     Ever since I was little my dream was to one day graduate high school, and go to college. I mean every child wants her parents to see her succeed and find an exciting job after 4 years of college and working towards her degree. That was how my senior year went at Waterville High School, and how my freshman year was going at Husson, until one day it was crumbling on the floor where I was standing. I wan't getting any financial aid, my parents didn't have the credit to get a loan, and I didn't qualify for work study. My worst nightmare had come true I wasn't going to be able to complete my college dream. The effects of this situation were immediate and have molded me into the woman I am today.  Psychological, Financial, and motivational.
     My dad has never seen me break down, and almost collapse to the ground in frustration, exhaustion, and depression. But the he came to gather my things and load them up into a moving van to take back home, he had to face me a broken down, piece of nothing, or at least that is what I felt like then. My world had fallen apart. I had felt like I was nothing any more, like I should be living on the bottom of the ocean with the scum of the earth. A little harsh? is what your thinking, it wan't harsh then. I was psychologically broken down, I had tried everything, going to teachers, the dean of education, and even the president of Husson. My last efforts even had teachers calling out other students, whom in their eyes didn't deserve to be there over me. I had a 3.2 GPA, I was a Husson Cheerleader, and involved in the community, I stayed out of trouble and always had my homework in on time. But I couldn't and still don't understand how I could have been kicked out after all my hard work just because I couldn't pay.
    Not paying leads me into the financial woes of what is Tiffany's situation then and now. I owe Husson University at this point about six thousand dollars, and yes you read that right six thousand dollars. The amount sounds horrible but it was almost twelve thousand 5 years ago, so I have been able to pay off a bunch of it. But having that not payed off now is taking a toll on my bank account, because the effect of not paying Husson off fast enough means I have to pay more out of my wallet. You see until I have that paid off Husson won't budge on giving me my transcripts. So these classes I am taking at EMCC i am paying for out of my pocket, why? Because without that transcript I can't fully enroll, which means no financial aid once again! So for three months out of the semester that I want to take classes I have to pay about three hundred dollars each month to pay off my classes that I take, which yes is good because at least I don't have to worry about loans this time, but it does take a toll on everything else i have to pay for. For three months rent is usually a week late because at least one of those week almost my whole check goes to the school, except for gas money. sounds fun doesn't it, NOT! but if I want to take classes and be able to say I have a degree, I have to take the hit and pay.
     I was very motivated in college, and leaving college early had a more than grand effect on me. For the first couple of days I was unmotivated, didn't want to do anything, just laid there in bed thinking woe is me. That didn't last to long. In the end all the psychological, and financial parts led me into a greater path. See before I left I got with all my teachers and planned on doing all the work from home, and making it up to classes at least twice a month, in doing that I proved to myself that I didn't need to be up there to succeed in my first year of college, I could be at home and still take my classes. It was hard work and the motivation had to be there for me to do my best. I had 5 classes to worry about, and a clinical that needed to happen as well. in the end I had a 3.23 GPA by the end of spring semester, while spending 4 months of that semester at home. I kicked motivations butt, and showed my parents and my self that I could do it.
     I still have the motivation to fight for what I want out of my education, I've made changes, and grown up...A lot. and all the effects of what has happened to me whether psychological, motivational, or financial, I have over come them. Shown that life is growing whether i have the tools, or need to find them. I will succeed in life, I will have a degree, or two, or three. Nothing will stand in my way, not Husson, Not the money issue, and I will never be un-motivational towards getting my education. I want my children to know that there mom fought to get her education and overcame the obstacles in front of her to get what she wanted, and she did not give up until her dream was reached.